In thirteen years of being a Mummy, I have never actually been away from my children for the night. Let alone hot footing it to London for the weekend to meet hundreds of strangers from the internet. (Oh my goodness, is that just me or does that sound like madness unless you are in blogging circles?!)
Obviously, as my eldest children have become older, they have been away on sleepovers and even residential school trips where they have been away separately. But I have never actually ever been the one doing the going away! Even when I had my third baby I was home within a few hours of giving birth. And my fourth baby was of course a homebirth. So this weekend is going to be huge first for me.
Something tells me that I should feel guilty for going off for a child-free weekend but can I let you into a little secret?
*whispers* I can’t wait.
Does that make me terrible?
I’m a stay at home mummy to four young children and it is quite literally 24/7. My Other Half works so hard and so the whole looking after the house and the children falls heavily on my shoulders – and that is not a problem. At all. In fact I love it and wouldn’t have it any other way. But as I’m sure anyone in the same boat can understand, it is pretty relentless. And I’m quite looking forward to snatching some time for myself for the very first time. A whole weekend to please myself. To hear myself think. To not have to wipe anybody’s nose.
Of course, it’s not like I’m leaving my offspring to fend for themselves. Daddy Daycare will be taking very good care of them. And they couldn’t be in better hands. In fact I’m scared that they will have such a good time that they won’t want me to come home! I have cancelled the organic veg box this week though as I very much doubt that he’ll be doing anything exotic with a courgette while I’m gone. And I don’t expect any housework to be done for the whole weekend. And of course it goes without saying that they will be dressed like street urchins as on the very rare occasion that he dresses them, you can guarantee that he will pick out the strangest and most uncoordinated clothes that are in their wardrobes. Plus the fact that if the girls tell Daddy that they always wear their best party dresses with wellies to make mud pies in the garden that he won’t question them. But that’s just it. They will have a ball. I know it. And leaving them in such capable hands of course makes it much easier for me to go off and enjoy myself.
Part of me thinks that I should feel terribly guilty but if it were the other way around and it was my Other Half going away, which he sometimes does on business, I know that he wouldn’t think twice about it. And why should he? And I wouldn’t want him to either! But all the same, I can’t help but think that I need to make the house spotless before I go, leave a fridge full of lasagne and bake enough bread to last them a month. Just in case. I think part of it is that I feel guilty for not feeling guilty about doing something for myself for once. And of course I don’t want them to manage too well without me or else I could feel quite redundant.
I am terribly nervous about travelling down to London on my own, it has to be said. But the excitement of the weekend ahead is by far overtaking any feelings of anxiety and that’s good, right? I can’t wait to see my hotel, to sleep like a star fish in a bed all to myself (a full nights sleep – how novel!) to go out for drinks with my lovely cyber pals after waiting so long to meet them, out for dinner without having to chop up anybody’s food for them and then there is CyberMummy itself – the biggest day of the year in UK parenting blogging circles!
I have so much to look forward to and I am insanely excited! And I’m determined to enjoy every single minute of it. And that’s okay, right..?