My eldest two went to nursery from being teeny as at the time I was working part-time. Well, in fact I was working full-time but under the guise of part-time hours. Funny how I felt the need to work twice as hard for half of the wages and not even half of the recognition. Anyhow, I digress. With my eldest two, nursery was never an issue as such because they went there from being so young and as much as the whole working mum guilt thing crippled me, the whole nursery thing never felt like a huge step as such. It was just me trying to give them the best possible childcare to them while I worked. But when I became a stay at home mummy after having my third baby, these steps seemed so much bigger somehow.
With my third child, sending her off to part-time nursery sessions after she had been at home with me was a huge deal. But I have to say that she did feel ready for nursery at the time. She absolutely loved it in fact and begged to go to nursery even on weekends! But for the whole time she went, she didn’t have a single wobble about me leaving her and that made it so much easier to do. Fast forward a couple of years later to my fourth and youngest child and the whole nursery thing feels bigger than ever. Whoever said that this parenting lark gets easier was clearly lying.
My youngest who is three now starts nursery in September. It’s just going to be for a couple of hours a day to help prepare her for school the following year and I know that it will be really good for her but all the same, if it was up to me, for completely selfish reasons I would keep her at home forever and ever *gulp*
She’s my baby. And it is like a whole chapter of our family is coming to an end. And it has come about all too soon. I know I should be relishing the thought of gaining a couple of hours to myself every day. But I’m really not. I’m trying to think positively about it all – there’s no question that it is an excellent nursery and how good it will be for her development. But it is me that is having the wobble.
I took her yesterday for a taster session and I stayed there with her. She had an absolute ball. I was so proud of how well she played with the other children and she ran from toy to toy to play. She was brimming with confidence and it was so lovely to stand by and watch her be her own little independent person. But then on the way home, and literally within a second of leaving the building, she shrieked and I mean SHRIEKED “Never take me back there again, Mummy” over and over all the way home. She got herself so upset that she could barely talk. And like I said, she had such a lovely morning that I just couldn’t understand where on earth this came from. But of course, with me wobbling over ‘losing’ her to nursery as it is and now this? Nightmare! It was all I could do to stop myself from shrieking right back “I don’t want to take you back there! Stay at home with me forever!”
I didn’t of course. I calmed her down, didn’t say any more about it and then later in the day, she happily talked to Daddy about what she had been up to and how much fun she had. So I’m hoping the whole shrieking thing was just hopefully an overtired and maybe an overwhelmed blip. And that come September, we won’t be faced with the not wanting to go back thing. She has been talking more today about nursery and I’m trying to up the excitement so fingers crossed that for her at least – it will be plain sailing come September. Of course, the benefit of having my other daughter go there before is that I know the nursery staff very well and I know that if there are any problems, they will soon be smoothed out.
But that doesn’t stop me worrying of course.
The thing is, if I’m being completely truthful, I am more worried about how I will cope without my little mini-me at home with me full-time *gulp*