The Mummy’s Race

Ahh Sports Day. My least favourite day of the school calendar by far.

I was the little girl who always developed a belly ache on Sports Day. I used to absolutely dread it. I was the one who came last in everything. Could never keep my egg on my spoon and used to get terribly tangled up in the bottom of a very itchy sack back when the sack race used actually sacks. I am that old. The thought of the whole school AND their parents laughing at just how useless I was has scarred me for life. Well, maybe not. But you get the picture.

I’m just eternally thankful that my children have all been the complete opposite of my bumbling self and have all mostly loved sports day so far. Now I just have to endure the pain of going to watch it. And I’m sorry but it is a pain. I could watch my own children run up and down a field with a beanbag balanced on their head all day long but other people’s children really do not interest me enough to make me want to watch hours and hours of this if I’m being totally honest. And it does go on for hours and hours..

Now of course sports day fills me with a whole new dread.

The Mummy’s Race *heart sinks*

There are the mummies who clearly train all year round for this thing, come dressed in trainers and they all but start limbering up at the starting post. Then there are the sneaky mummies who pretend not to want to do it but one call over the megaphone and they whip off their ballet pumps and change into their trainers that just happen to be in the bottom of their Mulberry Alexa quicker than Superman in a phonebox. Then there are the mummies who do it for fun. Yes the fun of it! And they are usually bare footed and laughing as they trail over the finishing line last.

Then there is me. And I’m not alone. I’m the one who comes unsuitably dressed and accessorised with a screaming baby attached to my hip. There is no way that I can join in of course. Not in these heels. And the poor baby, look how she is crying? I can’t possibly take part. Although my baby is getting a bit too big to help me out with this trick to be fair. I did consider giving her a nip (I’m joking I promise!) but I decided to faff around with reapplying her suncream instead. This was actually a stroke of genius as she squawked and squirmed away and by the time that I looked back up, the mummies were off! Such a shame. *cough*

But of course, come next year I am going to have to come up with a whole new plan as my baby will in fact be having a sports day of her own. Would having another baby be an extreme avoidance tactic do you think..? *ponders*

40 thoughts on “The Mummy’s Race

  1. Jo Ind says:

    I feel just the same way. When I was a child sports day made me feel sick in my belly and I went through all those feelings all over again when going to my child’s first sports day. I hate competitiveness in any circumstances. Competitiveness in public – ugh! My child loved it though.

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  2. Susan Mann says:

    I was told they didn’t do this anymore. Now I’m dreading sports day next year. I don’t think our schools does parents races, thank goodness 🙂 x

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  3. Midlife Singlemum says:

    Why do we all revert to scared schoolchildren when we enter school premisses? I have short legs, wide hips, a longer body and big boobs. No amount of sensible clothing or limbering up will make into a graceful runner. I don’t do sport in front of audiences (I also don’t do animals as in taking care of the gerbil over half-term). I will bake cakes, go on school trips, help with the school play and any number of other good-parent activities. I will not take part in organised sports and I have the courage to say so – shoot me.

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  4. Dia says:

    I absolutely hated sports day as a child. And I hated it as a teacher – I never ever took part in the teachers’ races – EVER! And it’s only after reading this that I thought I may have to one day take part in a mummy race. AAARGGH! I am not a runner. I am not a sports person. I hate it! But taking part would make my boy happy, I suppose? Ok – I have a few years to come up with some good reasons for not doing it.

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  5. mummywalker says:

    I would do it, but then I loved it at school too. Next year may be a completely different story when our eldest has his first sports day. I wouldn’t wear gym gear though, that’s just naff.

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  6. WestLondonMum says:

    I hear you…not much of a runner either…luckily it was a mummy and daddy race so I nominated my hubby to rep the family….also having a drink in your hand (coffee I mean) is always a good way of getting out of it…where will I put this? A small child could spill it…sneaky but effective 😉

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  7. Troubles Mum says:

    I loved sports day. I was good at sports and it was a chance to leave the weaker girls in my wake. Ha, eat my dust. Now I am a mother, I would like to say that things have changed – but they havent. If our sports day ever has a mums race, I’m in there, shoes off and goddammit I will win! Roar, eat my dust much more sensible mums. Then I’ll probably disgrace myself. Four kids plus a sprint finish might not be a good idea after all. Nice post YummyMummy!

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  8. Him Up North says:

    Our sports day was yesterday. The dads’ race was a no-go for me (I took an interest in my shoelaces and nearby trees when the plea went out for runners). Her Up North declined her race too, but only because she used to be a club sprinter and would literally kill the opposition. Maybe if they introduce a handicap it would be fair LOL.

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  9. crystaljigsawCrystal Jigsaw says:

    LOL, great post. I hated sports day too and I don’t think Amy likes it much either. I don’t go to watch as just can’t stand it and as Amy doesn’t mind me not being there, I decided a long time ago that it’s for the best!

    CJ xx

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  10. Mother Bloggin' Guilt says:

    Your post has filled me with dread! My kids are 1 and 3, so I was unaware of the whole sports day thing and the mummy race! Like you, I hated sports day as I was rubbish and everything and it didn’t help that I was in the yellow team, so we used to get chased by all the wasps! right, I have another year to think up an excuse to get out of it… Thanks for the warning! Xx

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  11. Helen White says:

    He he , thanku so much for making me giggle wifey! I am the kid who got the belly ache on sports day too. I remember vividly considering how I could break my arm so as not the have to take part, I was that desperate!
    We don’t have the Mummy race at our sports day …thank god! I think maybe next year you should take i leaf out of my book, go in a sling …or maybe a wheelchair ;D

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  12. Vanessa says:

    Last year I came last in the mothers’ race … behind a pregnant woman! Thank heavens sports day at my daughters’ new school doesn’t include one.

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