The one where I feel ever so content

It got to the point not so many months ago that I was weighing myself night and day (and often in between too) and my whole mood was set according to what the scales told me. It didn’t help that my weight could easily fluctuate by a whole six pounds overnight (how, just how?) My weight  would go up and down like a yo-yo always idling around the same (too heavy for my liking) mark. It didn’t matter how much or how little I ate, or how many times that week I went on the dreaded crosstrainer, I just couldn’t shift the weight and keep it off and it was making me so unhappy.

But then the scales broke.

At first, I was completely lost not knowing how much I weighed. It felt so alien after obsessively weighing myself for as long as I could remember. But soon, I realised that it was the best thing that had ever happened. I actually felt free. I didn’t know how much I weighed for the probably the very first time in my adult life. And more to the point I didn’t care and it felt good!

Around this time, I started working out more regularly than ever before. I might have been liberated from the dictatorship of my scales but I still wasn’t happy with the way that I looked and was still keen to lose weight – or more to the point – inches. I was (and still am) doing a mix of the crosstrainer, exercise bike and my Davina Fit DVD. Getting to the gym just isn’t possible for me so all my working out has to be at home and usually after I have tucked my little ones up for the night. I know it sounds lame compared to some people’s workout routines but for the first time ever, I was actually enjoying exercise. It was (and is) thirty minutes at the end of my hectic day all to myself and I have never had so much energy. It worked and I lost over 12 inches overall in a couple of months which I was amazed at, as I really didn’t have an awful lot to lose. But more importantly, I felt physically and mentally healthier than ever before.

I was measuring myself each week and while ever I was seeing the inches literally drop off, I wasn’t tempted to ever replace those broken scales. This was a huge deal for me. And in time, I stopped bothering to even measure myself. It just didn’t matter any more. For the first time in my adult life, I can honestly say that I am finally content.

I am far from perfect. But do you know what? I’m happy not to be. I love my food and am very much from the a-little-bit-of-what-you-fancy-does-you-good school of thought. I don’t do ‘diets’ and whilst I do watch portion sizes, I never deny myself anything. I love my food too much to be quite honest! I am still loving exercising in my own little lame way and am practically addicted to my Slendertone contraption (I was sent it to review – if you missed that post do take a look here as it is seriously a thing of miracle – I love it!)

I have come to accept that actually, it’s alright to be happy with being just the way that I am. I will never ever be the skinny minny size 8 that I once was way back when. But I don’t want to be and that in itself feels like a huge weight has been lifted (excuse the pun!)

I am truly content to be a very curvy size 12.

And it feels good.

I. Feel. Good. Godammit.

28 thoughts on “The one where I feel ever so content

  1. mutteringsofafool says:

    An excellent breakthrough! I think the obsession with weight is so wrong and misleading, I’m fit and healthy and run a lot but have a BMI of 26 which technically means I’m overweight. Such tosh. Feeling good about yourself is so important so huge congratulations


  2. Kate, WitWitWoo says:

    As a size 18 I guess it sounds weird to read that you can’t be happy being a size 12 … BUT … I understand it’s all relative and I’m just glad to hear that you’re happy in your skin, as I am. Size is relative, it’s all about how you carry it, how you feel, and whether you’re happy. You always strike me as someone who’s comfortable in their skin and personally, I think you look fab! I would 🙂


  3. Honest Mum says:

    Totally relate and funnily enough my scales broke just as I became pregnant in 2009 so it was perfect timing. I think you look beautiful and agree with Kate WitWitWoo it’s all relative. If you feel comfortable and content, size is just a number. The same applies to 21 year old men!


  4. Expat Mammy says:

    good for you hun, our scales are broke too & like you I pretty much morning noon and night, now I make loads of homemade soups and work out and judge my weight by my clothes!!! we should starta revolution!!


  5. Kerry Davies (@thelovebump) says:

    oh, a woman of my heart. I HATE the scales.. hate ’em. I’m a 12/14, but seriously need to exercise….. If I could stand Davina I would try her dvd but she winds me up! need a plan of action – you look fab! xx


  6. And1moremeans5 says:

    Good for you Hun, I’m stuck in a rut with my weight and it’s making me miserable, even with running three times a week, my active job etc I still can’t shift it. I can’t wait to feel the way you do after finding out how to motivate my blubber to shift xxx


    • (mostly) yummy mummy says:

      Oh Amy you are doing so well with your running though. And on top of all that you have on your plate, I honestly don’t know how you do it with work and five little ones. You’re amazing xx


  7. Mummy and Beastie (@Mummyandbeastie) says:

    I don’t think scales do us any favours…and I still jump on mine every now and then. Yesterday in fact to see how much weight I have put on in my pregnancy, hmmm. I think it’s always a good idea to go by your clothes and when things feel loose. I have a slender tone too but haven’t used it regularly enough and I am not sure I whack up the level enough, without doubling over!


    • (mostly) yummy mummy says:

      I have to say that I gained an alarming amount of weight during all of my pregnancies! And I was crazy enough to still weigh myself and of course torture myself as those stones piled on. I must have been mad – what was I thinking?!


  8. Claire says:

    For once in my life I’m trying to lose weight – I’ve always been straight up and down and haven’t needed to, but 2 kids down the line… Like so many people here my scales are broke (what is it with us?!) and I’m in the process of trying to fix them. But, do you know what? Soddit. After reading this I’m not going to bother. I know what I have to lose (my pot belly) and I don’t need scales to tell me when it’s gone.


  9. caroline enstock says:

    I have never owned a pair of scales in my life – I’m wavering between size 14-16 so hasn’t done me any harm – only ever got weighed when I was pregnant and baby weight never went until stop breastfeeding – 5 kids means losing weight looks worst as draws attention to tummy !!


  10. Alysonsblog says:

    Love this, it’s so nice to hit that point where you feel good about it, I’m just about there too, well done and enjoy x


    • (mostly) yummy mummy says:

      Thanks so much Alyson. My journey is nothing compared to yours though I almost feel like a fraud! Your weight loss story is just so incredibly inspiring – you’ve done so amazingly well! x


  11. Kirsty says:

    Really pleased to hear you’re feeling happy. I’ve never owned scales, I can tell by how my clothes fit and most importantly whether I *feel* healthy and energised whether I’m doing the right things. I don’t go in for ‘diets’ as the solution is pretty straightforward: eat well and exercise. Although since I did my big run I’ve let the exercise part slip!

    I don’t like to hear you describe your exercise routine as ‘lame’. It works for you, you’re enjoying it – nothing lame about it. x


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