It got to the point not so many months ago that I was weighing myself night and day (and often in between too) and my whole mood was set according to what the scales told me. It didn’t help that my weight could easily fluctuate by a whole six pounds overnight (how, just how?) My weight would go up and down like a yo-yo always idling around the same (too heavy for my liking) mark. It didn’t matter how much or how little I ate, or how many times that week I went on the dreaded crosstrainer, I just couldn’t shift the weight and keep it off and it was making me so unhappy.
But then the scales broke.
At first, I was completely lost not knowing how much I weighed. It felt so alien after obsessively weighing myself for as long as I could remember. But soon, I realised that it was the best thing that had ever happened. I actually felt free. I didn’t know how much I weighed for the probably the very first time in my adult life. And more to the point I didn’t care and it felt good!
Around this time, I started working out more regularly than ever before. I might have been liberated from the dictatorship of my scales but I still wasn’t happy with the way that I looked and was still keen to lose weight – or more to the point – inches. I was (and still am) doing a mix of the crosstrainer, exercise bike and my Davina Fit DVD. Getting to the gym just isn’t possible for me so all my working out has to be at home and usually after I have tucked my little ones up for the night. I know it sounds lame compared to some people’s workout routines but for the first time ever, I was actually enjoying exercise. It was (and is) thirty minutes at the end of my hectic day all to myself and I have never had so much energy. It worked and I lost over 12 inches overall in a couple of months which I was amazed at, as I really didn’t have an awful lot to lose. But more importantly, I felt physically and mentally healthier than ever before.
I was measuring myself each week and while ever I was seeing the inches literally drop off, I wasn’t tempted to ever replace those broken scales. This was a huge deal for me. And in time, I stopped bothering to even measure myself. It just didn’t matter any more. For the first time in my adult life, I can honestly say that I am finally content.
I am far from perfect. But do you know what? I’m happy not to be. I love my food and am very much from the a-little-bit-of-what-you-fancy-does-you-good school of thought. I don’t do ‘diets’ and whilst I do watch portion sizes, I never deny myself anything. I love my food too much to be quite honest! I am still loving exercising in my own little lame way and am practically addicted to my Slendertone contraption (I was sent it to review – if you missed that post do take a look here as it is seriously a thing of miracle – I love it!)
I have come to accept that actually, it’s alright to be happy with being just the way that I am. I will never ever be the skinny minny size 8 that I once was way back when. But I don’t want to be and that in itself feels like a huge weight has been lifted (excuse the pun!)
I am truly content to be a very curvy size 12.
And it feels good.
I. Feel. Good. Godammit.
- Slendertone Bottom up for review (mostlyyummymummy.com)