Tomorrow is an anniversary of sorts. Seventeen whole years since the Mr proposed to me in a pub car park. (And it was before we went into the pub I must add, he was stone cold sober, I swear!) The fact that we have been engaged forever is a bit of a joke and I’m sure nearing some sort of world record but I still haven’t quite given up hope of ever getting married. Not just yet.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that being married would have made our relationship any stronger. And despite what the crackpot surveys that come around every now and then say, I don’t believe it makes my children feel any less loved or secure. (In fact the sweeping notion that married parents make for better parents boils my blood but that’s maybe a post for another day. I’m supposed to be keeping this all squishy and light hearted today. Ahh.)
In almost eighteen years together, there have been good times and bad. But I think the good have far outnumbered and definitely outweighed the bad. It dawned on us earlier this week that this anniversary was coming up and we were laughing about just how much crap we have been through in all these years and quickly came to the conclusion that the foundation of our happy relationship is actually crap. We have been held together by crap. I think you had to be there. I promise we were crying with laughter at the time.
We have had the worst of times and the very best of times and I think the thing is, that we have got through it all together and are still somehow laughing. And holding hands. And being more in love than we ever have been. It’s all such a cliché I know, but it’s true.
I do think that some people give up far too easily on their relationships. The fact is that a long term relationship takes some work along the way. Not too much work that it becomes hard work of course. But love is both caring enough to still want to make that effort. And we have. And long may it continue. Even when he is annoying the pants off me. And sometimes he really does annoy the pants off me. As I’m sure I do him. (In fact, I know I do him) But I actually secretly love it when he annoys me. Just don’t tell him that I said so as he really doesn’t need any more encouragement.
So do I know the secret to a long and happy relationship?
Nope. I don’t think I do.
But I’m rather hoping that if you come back and ask me in another seventeen years then I might have more of a clue.