End of an era

I have a feeling that if I had written this post a few weeks ago as I intended, that it would have been very different. But technology has not been my friend of late. My craptop died and I was without it for weeks and weeks only to get it back and break it again. I know, I know! So the last month or so has seen me have to borrow the Mr’s beloved MacBook when I could which was far from ideal as he made me a nervous wreck using the thing. I think me making a joke about spilling my coffee on it didn’t get us off on the right foot but honestly, he loves that thing more than is natural. Anyway, I digress. Being laptopless meant that I haven’t been free to blog as and when I please like I usually do, so time has meant that this post has actually taken on a whole new turn.

Had I have written this three or so weeks ago, I would have talked about just how sad I was. How it was an end of an era. And these things are still true. But I’m beginning to see that this doesn’t have to be a bad thing. In fact, I couldn’t be more content. You see, after the best part of fourteen years (with a big gap in the middle) we have taken down the cot in our bedroom. Something that I have been avoiding for far too long. Something that was long overdue. Seeing it all in bits leaning against the wall actually made me catch my breath. And yes there were tears. Our room suddenly felt so empty without the cot at the foot of our bed. Such an end of a very big era for us.

It’s strange just how emotionally attached you can become to something as silly as a cot. I wouldn’t mind but it is a long time since my four year old ‘baby’ was sleeping in there. In fact, to be fair even when she was little enough to sleep in there she didn’t spend much time in the thing. Just like her siblings before her, she preferred to be with Mummy and Daddy in the big bed. And that’s just how I liked it too.

But saying goodbye to the cot meant that we were saying goodbye to babydom of course. That acceptance that our beautiful brood are getting bigger by the day and also that our family is complete. No more babies. A decision that I never thought that I would ready to make. I have always said never say never when it comes to having more children but not any more. I’ve finally reached that point when I can hand on heart say that our family, our beautiful big family, is in fact complete. And I feel so amazingly content.

I’m not normally very good with change so I’m not entirely sure where this sudden clarity has come from. Maybe all the crap that we’ve been through this year has made me count my blessings like never before. Don’t get me wrong, I have always felt so incredibly blessed to have the family that I have but until this year, I had never truly understood just how fragile life is. I can hardly remember a time when I haven’t had a baby attached to my hip and I’ll cherish my memories of those precious early years forever of course. But now it’s time to say goodbye to those baby years and time to look forward to what is yet to come. And I’ve realised that change doesn’t always have to be scary after all. It can even be a good thing. Who knew?

30 thoughts on “End of an era

  1. Icklebabe says:

    Great post my lovely friend , I think that these moments of clarity about “the big things” in life can never be pushed, the real decision we make are ones that evolve from somewhere so deep inside that we can’t quite put a finger on it.
    My other half always says, when he has something big to decide on he just stops thinking about it entirely and lets his brain just get on with it, as a former worrier( of everything!) this is a really refreshing idea. I guess it’s similar to giving things up to the universe, or just letting go, things have a way of becoming clear in the end ( and sometimes the most important things come out of heartache too ) .
    Sorry , must be having a bit of a hippy moment, but I’ve been thinking a lot about this stuff lately, reading your lovely post has given me a bit of clarity too ! πŸ˜‰
    Anyway, Lots of love on this next part of life, Sounds like its going to be great!
    Xxx

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    • (Mostly) Yummy Mummy says:

      Oh no no no! Never say sorry for having a hippy moment I love your way of thinking and your Other Half is so right. Thank you for the lovely comment H it always makes my day to see you pop up here on my blog. Lots of love right back xxx

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  2. Sarah Flight says:

    This really is a great post and it’s wonderful that you are clearly very content with life at the moment. Since I have been older (and moved out) I have had a much better relationship with my mum although I was terrified of the huge change at first.

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  3. MrsB says:

    I have never been a baby person so as soon as we started getting rid of baby stuff I was all “yeah!!! no more bums to wipe! no more boiled pumpkin to puree!!!’

    I do wish I had 3 kids though but being reproductively challenged I count my blessings and move on πŸ™‚

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    • (Mostly) Yummy Mummy says:

      You see I’m the opposite and am a complete baby person. I love that newborn stage. Although I have gone on to love every other stage too….! We are so blessed to have the families that we have though πŸ™‚

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  4. jennastobbs says:

    I can completely understand where you’re coming from. My second baby is now 8 months and i’m still broody for another even now…….

    I just can’t imagine not having a baby in my life but i’m sure that one day I will be content with my lot.

    A lovely post, enjoy the next step x x x

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  5. Grenglish says:

    You are so lovely! It’s always sad when you reach the end of an era but to feel complete must be wonderful. I’m not quite there yet… am hoping I’ve got one more in me before we dismantle everything xx

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  6. citygirlnomore (@citygirlnomore) says:

    Such a sincere and true post. My youngest is now 5 and I am right there with you. Seems strange, but I am already looking forward to the future and having my own grandchildren, so I can go through all the rigamarole again. My cot is safely stored in my loft for such a time.

    Like

  7. Anya from Older Singe Mum says:

    Bless you for your warmth. It’s something that is decided for us when we’re ready, I think. I truly regret selling my little ones’ cot and all the bedding, especially as I programme them to have children young coz I had them so old. I wish I’d kept it all for them, because it’ll be here in a flash! Congratulations X

    Like

  8. Jenny says:

    What a lovely post. I am due with number 4 in Nov. After #3 I was a “never say never” person but I am pretty sure this will be our last one. I hope when the time comes to actually face this fact I can do it with as much positivity as you do.

    Like

  9. Jess kimber says:

    We had our fourth baby (we’ve got boy, girl, boy, boy!) in February – I never thought I’d know when it was time to stop, but I do now! I could have another twenty babies, but children? No, I think four is a great number. I asked my mum how she got over knowing that was it (I’m one of four also), and she just said “your head wins over your heart. The feeling never goes away, but you just get over it”! Wise words! Xx

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  10. TheMadHousej says:

    I cried when I got rid of the boys baby things. I think if I hadn’t been forced healthwise to stop we would have gone on having babies. I wanted a bus full

    Like

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