Time on my hands..?

So many people seem concerned about what on earth am I going to do with myself come September. I can’t say that I am the least bit concerned myself, which makes me even more sick to death of being asked if I’m being honest. My baby starts full time school in September you see. I think I must have missed the memo that told me that from the minute I became pregnant, I became open to scrutiny from one (wo)man and his dog. It never stops being annoying though, does it?

You see *shock* *horror* I’m not in a rush to get myself away from the shackles of the kitchen sink and find myself a proper job come September. I actually love being at home. Not that I have to justify my decision to be a housewife of course but you can’t help but sometimes feel defensive. Quite frankly, it is nobody’s business but ours but that doesn’t stop their incessant questions. I can’t help but think how undervalued the role of a traditional housewife must be, which is quite sad really.

I’m not saying that I will never work again. Not at all. But for now at least, I am still very much needed at home. I’m happy, my family is happy. It’s not for everyone granted, but it works for us. The house runs like clockwork for starters and trust me, the housework feels like a full time job in itself most days let alone the day to day logistics of trying to organise four children. But I am there for school drop offs and pick ups too, not to mention teacher training days, school holidays and early closures. Seriously, it doesn’t get easier the older they get, my young teens are hardly ever in school for a full week. If I had a job, I honestly don’t know how I could ever arrange the necessary childcare. At just thirteen and fourteen, I wouldn’t dream of leaving them at home alone yet. I’m not sure what working parents do, maybe they have more support from extended family? I don’t know. To a point, I actually think my teens need me more than ever. I don’t think you should ever underestimate the emotional support from having a parent at home waiting for you.

My youngest has been going to nursery for half day sessions for the last year now so I’m not actually going to be gaining that much time in my day. Although I won’t miss that extra school run in the middle of the day, that’s for sure. My days have virtually consisted of one soggy school run after another for most of this year. But in the time that I do gain, I hope to be able to get on top of the boring old chores that bit more. Although I think the reality will be that having a big family means that this is always going to be a never ending battle leaving me destined to drown in the ironing pile every night. But I’m really hoping, maybe selfishly, that I might be able to carve out a little time for me too. Time to write. Time to sit down and really crack on with that book of mine instead of it drifting to the wayside. That’s the dream anyway. Of course, to those busybodies asking me what am I going to do with all this time I’ll have on my hands, I might as well tell them that I plan to take a lover rather than tell them about my aspirations to be an author. That might shut them up. And although that does have a certain je ne sais quoi about it, I’m not sure that my lovely Mr would agree….

16 thoughts on “Time on my hands..?

  1. Tamsin's Toys says:

    I’m right with you here Mrs…….. Anyone who hasn’t been a SAHM has no concept of how hard yet rewarding it is. And why exactly do people feel they have the right to comment? If I had a pound for every time I heard “you’re so lucky” “what do you do all day” bla bla. Can you imagine the uproar if you countered with “don’t you think your children would be happier if they spent more time with you?”…..horses for courses and each to their own but people are so judgmental. Mind you, I’m heading back to work next month. Eeek! Hopefully I’ll manage best of both worlds though as only short work hours and still lots of kiddy time x

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  2. trickycustomer says:

    I gave up work to be Sam’s carer and as long as we have him I just can’t see myself working. ‘But what about when he starts (special) school?’ is what I’m getting a lot now but he will still need me to be available at a drop of a hat. If I’m tied up at work I might miss an urgent call cos he needs me. Will I be able to get a job that will let me drop everything just like that & be ok if I don’t show up because he’s sick, in hospital or at an outpatients appointment? People seem to think that when he starts school that’s it, he’s off my hands & I could/should get a ‘little job’. But Sam is my job whether he’s at home or at school.

    Sorry. I’ve babbled on a bit. Enjoy the time you have to yourself. You may even find having a bit of mummy time may help you be an even better mum than you already are!! X

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  3. Icklebabe says:

    So well said mrs!!! πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘ It’s such a shame that being around full time for your children is so underestimated. I completely get it if people need or just WANT to work, but it’s a very valued job we do, and ( its been proved) very important for the future of the world, let’s face it..that IS pretty important πŸ˜‰ xxx

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  4. deborabora says:

    Too true. It appears whatever decision we decide & whatever works best for us we get judged and scrutinised. I’m on the other side of the fence with preferring to work (though I do only have one child & one on the way). But that’s my decision & what works best for me but I feel just as guilty for my decision and for not choosing a life as a sahm. What’s important is that what we are doing is what’s right for us individually and our own family and is no one else’s business!

    Great post and I praise you for being a sahm of 4 children, I believe you deserve a medal x

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  5. Tina Robson says:

    I hear and echo EVERYTHING that you have said. Like you, my smallest will start full time school this September, and I keep being told “oh, you won’t know what to do with yourself,” (thats sounds like a good blog title for me in fact). My answer is, “I’ll have a good try finding out what to do with myself.” Got some plans, none include immediately returning to work, but like you, I’m not saying I’ll never return to employment.

    So just enjoy your time to yourself. Then like me, reflect and start a new adventure.

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  6. chezmummy says:

    Yes, that would certainly silence the questions ;-). I work full-time but would love to be at home more with my children. I miss the pre-school drop-off and pick-up for my eldest and my one-year-old is looked after by his grandmother five days a week. I calculated (roughly) that my mother-in-law spends much more time with my children than I do and that just doesn’t feel right

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  7. Molly says:

    I think the nature of life is that often people like to make comments and ask questions of other people’s life choices – if only to affirm that their own decisions are “right”. But we are all different, we all make different decisions and are in different situations, so what’s “right” for one person isn’t for another. I’m constantly asked, “I don’t know how you do it” when people talk about my odd working hours. Just like you, I often get a bit rankled with it and hate feeling like I have to justify myself.

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  8. Rollercoaster Mum says:

    I think with 4 children you probably only have an option to be a SAHM! I would love to be a SAHM but we cannot afford for me to be and even though I only work part time I find the holidays very hard on many levels – the guilt at not being there for them and the organisation that it takes to find childcare. I don’t have extended family close by who help out so organisation can be an absolute nightmare and I spend half my life trying to organise our time so that they can still do clubs and have playdates. Moneywise we really need for me to work more but I am reluctant to do so (and I would have to find a second job that fitted in with the first and the children so that’s not going to happen!) I am merely envious but I would also like to put in my pennysworth for the working mums as we often get criticised by SAHM and for those like me who have to work that really hurts – I don’t choose to leave my kids – I have to just to pay the bills on our (very small) house. As for how we manage – well my house does not run like clockwork and we live in a pigsty as housework and tidying is a constant battle and I never get time to spend enough time with my children – so in my case badly. I am just envious.

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  9. Louise says:

    I find it odd when my friends ask this too. I am hoping to be able to do all the housework and keep fit when I finally get a few mins without children!

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  10. Bob McConnell says:

    Your family is very fortunate. And, you are, as well. I missed so much of this time and I have always felt very guilty about it. There is no way to get it back.

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  11. Grenglish says:

    I work full-time at the moment but am planning on cutting right back when my son starts school! I think childcare gets much harder as they get older and like you say – how to arrange school holidays, drop offs and pick ups?? Ignore the busy bodies… how they find the time to concern themself with what you do with your day is beyond me… and none of their business. Can’t wait to read your book! xx

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  12. mutteringfool says:

    Surely you’ll get bored just sitting around the house waiting for school run time though? πŸ˜‰
    It’s a real shame that society seems to give so little value to the role of housewife yet complains about broken families and a lack of family values. Plus if you do have spare time why shouldn’t it be used to do something for you for once rather than your children?

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  13. richmondmummy says:

    It always amazes me how intrusive some other people feel they can be in others’ lives – ignore the busy-bodies and do what is right for you and your family I say! x

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