It’s the thought that counts, right?

I was approached by a company wanting me to do a review of their website here on my blog recently (nothing new there of course) but I was intrigued when I read that the idea behind the site was that they help men to choose presents for the women in their lives. It’s not the first company to think of this concept so I’m sure there must be a market out there for such a service but it did make me think, would I want the man in my life to use a site like this? Well, quite frankly, no. I don’t think I would.

I’m not saying that Mr Mostly always buys me the most perfect gifts because he really doesn’t. I could tell you about the time that he bought me the biggest bottle imaginable of Coco Mademoiselle thinking that it was my favourite perfume because it looked vaguely familiar (it’s not, my favourite Chanel scent is Chance and has been for the best part of ten years) Or how in the early days he would buy me underwear that was at least two sizes too small but I wouldn’t dare tell him because that would mean admitting how fat my arse really was. I’d rather brave a few hours of being uncomfortable in a size 6 thong. What? It was the 90’s! But actually it really didn’t matter on those or any of the other times that he hasn’t got it quite right. Because it’s the thought that counts. I’d much rather get a ‘wrong’ present that he had spent time choosing rather than a ‘right’ present that a website had told him I wanted. The gift is actually quite irrelevant if the thought is right in my book.

I’m not sure who I love more, Mr Waitrose for making this or Mr Mostly for buying it for me!

I know that I’m lucky (sometimes I can’t actually believe how lucky I am) and over the years, I have had the most amazing presents. I have been treated to the most beautiful jewellery (often by surprise) and eighteen years on, he’s even cracked the lingerie thing and always gets the right size now. But it has to be said that some of my very favourite presents are the silly just because presents. These are the things that normally cost next to nothing. Or in the case of the love heart shaped rock that he found half way up a mountain and brought home for me – free (unless you count the extra heavy backpack as payment of course) Maybe I’m just very easily pleased!

I don’t know, is it just me that hates the idea of somebody else (let alone a website) choosing my man’s present for me? I mean it’s 2012 for goodness sake! Should we really be perpetuating the stereotype that women are high maintenance and need the perfect gift while men are completely hapless when it comes to buying presents? Yawnsville.

Shouldn’t the gift come from his heart even if it does mean that he sometimes gets it completely wrong? And shouldn’t she love it just because it’s from him? Or am I just too easily pleased and should I insist on nothing less than perfect? It’s just that life (at least my life) isn’t even close to being perfect. But I do find that it is much happier when I remember what really counts.


16 thoughts on “It’s the thought that counts, right?

  1. The Fool says:

    I got that email too and had a similar sort of reaction, yes some men truly are awful at buying presents but I’m not sure any website is ever going to be able to fix that. The presents you remember are always the ones with some meaning behind them rather than just splashing cash for the sake of it.


  2. Franglaise Mummy says:

    I get where you’re coming from but I also get where these websites are coming from. I would love my husband to get me something he’s thought long and hard about and that I love, but there’s just too much of a risk that it’s something I don’t want at all, and then I feel I have to lie to him and he picks up on the fact I don’t like it, and that’s my b’day/Xmas ruined.

    But we do still want the element of surprise, so we have come to a happy medium now, where over the year we put things we might like one day on a “wishlist” and this can be something little and cheap, to something huge and expensive. So there is still an element of surprise as there’ll be loads on this list, but it’s still something we would both like, as I want to be certain I get him something he loves/wants too.


  3. Capture by Lucy says:

    I had that same email, lovely lady and have only got as far as looking at the website link on the email. Haven’t made up my mind yet. I always think why would anyone need help buying for me, surely it’s easy! Everywhere I go I see something I would like! Ha! xx


  4. Notmyyearoff says:

    Some of my most favourite presents from OH are little odd trinkets like a photo frame he found in Covent garden or a weird love heart crystal thing (it’s not actually v pretty but was so sweet). Things that he got just because, when he had not much money. ๐Ÿ™‚


  5. discombubulated says:

    Totally. My Dad has always got cards wrong – without fail he gets my Mum an Easter card for Valentine’s, a birthday card for Mother’s Day, a Christmas card for their anniversary and so on and so on..but it wouldn’t be right any other way. It’s what makes him him.


  6. MrsB says:

    It’s totally the thought that counts. We’ve actually decided not to do any surprise presents for each other, for xmas, bdays, etc. – it’s too stressful trying to find The Perfect Present and we just end up wasting our money. We’d rather just buy the stuff for ourselves that we like ๐Ÿ˜‰ So romantic. Not! (but has worked for 12 years)


  7. mamacrow says:

    Oh I COMPLETELY agree with you. I’ve had the odd cd/book/dvd which was his taste not mine, and jewelry that wasn’t my taste at all but I loved it because it was from him, and he went to the trouble of choosing it, and wanting to see it on me as it were.

    and I’ve had some absolutely OMG AMAZING gifts too.

    I must say Amazon wish lists are very helpful – you see, I’ve GIVEN a fair few ‘wrong’ gifts to him too!


  8. Hannah says:

    I have to agree, a gift that is totally useless but from the man in your life is so much better! My husband is the worlds worst at presents, over time I have had the pleasure of receiving a neon ‘Bar’ light?!?!? Some fitness rubber bands (6 weeks after giving birth!) and for every single occasion I get a box of Malteasers… They are his favourite! Don’t get me wrong I would love jewellery or underwear but that just wouldnt be him! And to be fair it made the fact he picked my engagement ring out extra special.


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