The one with the lesser spotted babysitter

We don’t have anyone to babysit for us. Like, ever. This probably conjures up images of my children being absolute horrors but they’re really not. Quite the opposite in fact. They are all at such a great age now. You can take your eyes off them for a minute and be quite sure that they won’t be sticking their fingers into sockets or getting olives stuck up their noses. They are pretty much house trained and even wipe their own bottoms. Well, for the most part at least. I would even go so far to say that they are really easy despite the fact that they outnumber us. In fact, I would say that being with them is (mostly) an absolute pleasure.

Way back when we only had two children, family were always much keener to look after them but once number three came along (never mind number four) offers of babysitting pretty much disappeared. Ironically, in the early days of being at home with four little ones I had probably never needed a break so much in my life but there you go! And even now on the very odd occasion that people might offer, it is strictly one or two children at a time. Of course this means that for the last seven-ish years, Mr Mostly and I haven’t had a single evening out together. But that’s okay. Honestly it is. After so long, it has become our normal I guess.

027I have never felt like we have been missing out by not going out in the evening together, like I said, that’s just the way it is. But when our youngest started school in September, it gave us the perfect opportunity to sneak some time together, just the two of us. And we have made the most of it and done just that. A day wandering around York here, lunch out in Leeds there. A sneaky morning at the cinema, maybe afternoon tea in Ilkley. Or sometimes it’s just a trip to Caffe Nero if that’s all Mr Mostly can make time for. I say just but actually I love our little coffee trips and we try to go at least once a week. I must confess that it is so nice to have some time for us at last.

Having been together for almost nineteen years now, we have seen so many of our friends go the full circle of meeting, marrying, having children, divorcing and some are even on to their second marriages. We are the only couple that are still together out of our original crowd and in lots of ways that makes me oh so sad but it also makes me ponder how on earth have we stood the test of time where they have failed. And do you know what, I’m not entirely sure. There have been good times and really rather hairy times but somehow, the good has always outweighed the bad. I’m not sure that I have the answer to a long and happy relationship – well, does anyone?! But I think that making the most of what you do have goes a long way. As does still being able to laugh together. Of course, getting to hold hands over lunch without a little person yelling “Errrr stop it! That’s disgusting!” is just a lovely bonus.



14 thoughts on “The one with the lesser spotted babysitter

  1. Cari Rosen (aka @cazroz) says:

    For my birthday last week I chose to spend the evening watching football with the girls (major error but only because we lost – otherwise we had a great time) and spent the day with husband instead. I can’t remember the last time we have had a whole day (well – 9-5 at least) just for us and it was blissful. It happened to be the one day with stunning weather so we went out for lunch then walked miles in the sunshine and it couldn’t have been lovelier. Holding hands and strolling along the river, eyeing up the best place to buy ice cream beats a posh night out any day of the week.


  2. mascaraandmud says:

    last year we got a WHOLE wekeend to ourselves. did we go out and get wasted? (we felt that maybe this is what we should have been doing) no, we just got a shed load of goodies, walked and walked during the day and stayed in during the evening – bliss x


  3. Mrs Darling says:

    I find getting babysitters for just two instead of one is that much harder now, plus my three year old never wants us to leave her! So at the moment time for just us is extremely limited; but even if it’s just tea and biscuits on the couch when the babies are in bed it is ‘us’ time we treasure together. I think you’re right about making the most of what you do have. I was already thinking about this today as I included a quote on my blog from ‘Captain Corelli’s Mandolin’ which I think is also very apt in explaining part of the secret to a long and happy relationship.


  4. farfromhomemama says:

    We try to sneak lunch dates instead of nights out too. 1, because we can’t get a babysitter, and 2, because they’re so much nicer than forcing a fun night when we’re both so tired. It feels like a real treat and you don’t have to contend with less sleep vs children that get up early. Sounds like you’ve been having some really lovely days out x


  5. Harrovian Mama says:

    This was such an interesting post for me. I’ve found that since no.2, all offers at babysitting have vanished! I can’t imagine how it could get much worse with any more! We don’t use babysitters either-I hate the thought of leaving my babies with strangers-but may have to start if only so that I can do practical things alone/with one child eg. doctor’s visits/pre-school open days etc. I know when they’re older we can have these day-time dates but I wish sometimes people would offer to come and sit with a cup of tea once they’re already in bed!


    • (Mostly) Yummy Mummy says:

      It’s so tough not having anybody to babysit. I’m like you and have never been keen on getting a stranger in to do it and all offers from family has disappeared and i really don’t like to impose myself. I know *just* what you are saying 🙂


  6. alysonandrew says:

    we do try and sneak out now and then and also manage to fit in a weekend away a year too, but like you I cant get anyone to have all mine, I have to split them sometimes 3 ways. I think your long relationship says a lot about you, and your partners commitment to it and your children.. that and obviously he has fabulous taste in women and knew how lucky he was to get you!


  7. says:

    I loved this and finding couple time when kids arrive, is hard but oh so worth it, when you can grab even a coffee together. Such a heartwarming post x


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