The one where I am a tiny bit (okay big bit) stressed

We had parents evening for the teens this week. Well, I say evening, these things have actually morphed into whole day affairs now, not to mention the half day early closure the day before to allow teachers to prepare. I refuse to call them whatever they are calling them these days, partly because I can’t keep up with the lingo but partly because the fact that it is strung out for a whole day makes me rather grumpy. I’m lucky in that me being at home, doesn’t mean wrangling an afternoon off work or indeed struggling to find childcare on a random week day with little notice. But I honestly don’t know how working parents manage to juggle these things? I appreciate the work that must go into preparing them and the mounds of paperwork that come with it plus it is essential that parents have this contact with school. I’m just not sure if missing a whole day of school is ever a good idea. Anyway, enough of me moaning about not actually having anything to moan about.

Teenagers (Mostly) Yummy Mummy BlogBoth of my teens are at such an important – if not the most important – time of their school life and to be honest, it’s all a bit terrifying. My daughter is fourteen and started her GCSEs in September and my son at fifteen is a year ahead of her in his final year of his. From choosing their options, to sitting controlled assessments, every step along the way has felt so huge. So bloody crucial. The only thing is that I don’t think that either of them have really felt the pressure half as much as I have. How does that work? This is their education?! Teenagers! Argh!

I actually found the move from primary to secondary education really difficult and still do to some extent. I really miss that constant contact that you have with teaching staff in the primary years. Parents evening now means sitting across a table for five short minutes with a subject teacher I often haven’t met before. I know that I have to trust in the school (and lucky for us it is a very good school) and of course my children have more than their part to play in all of this. But it is hard not to turn all Tiger Mum when all you want is the very best for your kids. My daughter has made an astonishing start and she still has so much time ahead of her of course. My son unfortunately does not have the same luxury of time and readily admits that he has not been working at full speed. I just hope that the disappointing results in his mocks will be the kick up the backside that is needed. It doesn’t get much scarier than that, surely? The school is doing all that it can offering extra revision classes and we are constantly on his back at home and have been for as many years as I can remember. Sigh. But the fact is that this lays completely in his hands, which is quite frankly terrifying.

All those years of school work is about to come to fruition. This is it. They don’t get a second chance. The results they get now will no doubt go on to shape the whole of their lives and oh my godfathers that is unbelievably stressful as a parent. I just want them to have real choices. Real choices that I never really got to make. I want to help them to try their best to reach their full potential because I know just how capable they are. That way happiness lies. And all I ever want is for them to be happy.

(Mostly) Yummy Mummy Blog

9 thoughts on “The one where I am a tiny bit (okay big bit) stressed

  1. butwhymummywhy says:

    The thought of this stresses me out and mine are still only little! Where we live the secondary schools are really poor so it’s something that I do worry about. Hopefully either the schools will improve or we’ll be able to move before they make that transition. My friends laugh at me for worrying about this now, but education is such a huge deal and so important. I think it’s the lack of control you have over it all as a parent that’s scary, like you say you want them to be happy and reach their full potential and I’m sure with the great school and the support you’re giving them they will. xx

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  2. Susan Mann says:

    This totally stresses me out and reading about you going through it twinny, I feel for you so much. It’s scary that you want the best for your kids and you have to get them to see that. You are a wonderful mum and want the best for them, I think that is all we can do. Other than stress out. Wine and chocolate are our friends 😉 xxx

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  3. Kim Carberry says:

    My eldest starts secondary school in September! I am dreading it! I actually feel sick when I think about it…..She of course is looking forward to it which makes it all the more harder x

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  4. Tracey says:

    It really is a stressful time! My son had his exams last year and got lower than expected so he seems to be putting extra effort into his A levels, but he doesn’t show any emotion about it all. My daughter on the other hand, in yr 10 is expected high grades but is pulling her hair out saying she is going to fail everything because she can’t keep up…arggghhh! I know it affects their whole future but I tell them just to do their best because I don’t want to put too much pressure on them. Good luck x

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  5. greenfroggyfae says:

    I honestly wouldn’t worry about it, even if they don’t get the results. Education is
    no longer age restricted which benefits those who may not naturally be ready to hit the levels others expect of them. It’s a shame that so much pressure is put on them when the truth is the world will not end if resists have to be done or if some qualifications are not met at all and all the stress takes the enjoyment out of their childhood which is already pushed from the minute they start school. Although you may of guessed I’m not a huge fan of the education system

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  6. HonestMum.com says:

    Such a heartfelt post and I really feel for you-I remember what a pressured time it was when I was sitting my own GCSE’s and how hard my folks were on me to buckle down! I’m glad they did too because it does have an impact on future prospects (not the only thing but sure helps)… I’m positive your kids will do well and like other commnters have said, we can only try our best as parents and then it’s in their hands-autonomous learners a go- (gosh it is scary!) x

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  7. Josie says:

    Reading this makes me realise that the worry and stress of parenting doesn’t end when they’re old enough to start sleeping through the night which is what I’ve secretly been hoping. 😉

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  8. Leslie H. says:

    I remember how stressful school was FOR ME and that was AGES ago and now to feel that same stress again for my son (plus some because I want him to do better!); I can definitely empathize. I think helping your child to prioritize is key as well as just providing a listening ear when needed. Sometimes I want to shake my son and say, “High school isn’t the end all be all!!! STOP STRESSING! Enjoy it!” (as much as I know that’s impossible). I want to recommend a book that I recently read (and passed onto my son) called “10 Things I Wish I Knew in High School” by author Sarah Galimore (https://www.eppinspires.com). The author shares many of her own personal experiences and trials & tribulations that many can relate to in trying to find out “what do I want to do with the rest of my life?” I enjoyed her book because it speaks to the teen on a level that they can easily understand and relate to and I feel she gives them excellent advice. She promotes exposure and life experience; it’s not all about test scores. She believes that students that follow the cookie cutter education model miss out on the essence of education in a major way. A student must set standards and goals for themselves because in the end it all boils down to his/her choices. A parent can be there to help their child understand what their definition of success is. Does your child believe success is a ton of money? a caring family? helping others and leaving their mark on the world? This definition of success will guide them in their career pursuits. We can only do so much as parents but at least I can feel like I provided my son with a book that will help me point him in the right direction. Hope you’ll give it a read!

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