Blogging for me can be very much of the moment but sometimes you can be too darned busy enjoying the actual moment to take the time to journal it. Before you know it, the moment has passed and by then you think it’s too late to bother writing about it. But actually, does it matter if a post isn’t completely of the moment? When I look back on something I wrote in years to come, I know for a fact that I won’t think yeah that’s all well and lovely but why didn’t you write it three days earlier? I’ll just be glad to read it at all I bet.
That’s the thing, I love stumbling upon old blog posts. Often I’ve forgotten they were ever written never mind the memories they might contain. You see it’s the little things that you might enjoy the most at the time but actually, it’s the little things that can be forgotten in time. The minutiae of everyday life. You don’t think at the time that you will ever forget all those special albeit everyday moments not to mention the countless parenting firsts (and seconds, thirds and fourths) You think that these times will be ingrained in your heart and memory forever but the truth is that things do get forgotten over time. That’s why I love taking so many photographs. Real concrete evidence capturing those very moments. But also that’s when my blog really counts too.
Writing from the heart isn’t always easy and of course there is always that element of putting yourself out there for people to criticise and trample all over your feelings. There will always be that one idiot who forgets that there is a real live person tapping away at that keyboard. And do you know what, I look back at some old posts and cringe but I don’t regret anything that I have ever written here. I might not feel the same way about something as I did when originally penning the post but that doesn’t mean that my feelings weren’t valid in that very moment. Heck, I’ve been known to change my mind about things while I’m still writing the post never mind before I press that publish button or let alone five years later! But actually I love that my blog is not only there as a record of life’s milestones but also as a sounding board for gathering my thoughts. And yes, while a few old (and very opinionated) pieces make me look back and cringe, I can also smile at the person I once was and the person I am now. I’m not going to harshly judge myself (or anybody else that matter) for an of the moment rant written years ago. Things (and more importantly people) change thank goodness otherwise it would be a boring old world.
When I started writing here back in 2010, in many ways I was a very different person to the one I am now. But I mean this in a good way. My thirties for me have definitely been my best yet but so much has happened and I have grown and changed so much. (I will go on to say the same about my 40s, 50s and 60s too such is life of course) But I actually love that even the most cringeworthy moments and yes, those silly wobbles over what turned out to be nothing have all been part and parcel of a record of these great and ever changing years.
Here’s to that notebook full of ideas and musings actually getting further than that scrap of paper and making it all the way here on to my blog. Although that’s not to say that I won’t stop scribbling anything and everything in a notebook mind. So today this is a promise to myself to actually care less about missing that short window in time and to write about it anyway. Even if it isn’t strictly of the moment it really doesn’t matter. One day, just one day I might just be glad of the memories.