I applied for a job last month and I don’t think I realised just how much I wanted it until I didn’t get it. Typical, huh? I wasn’t even looking for a job I just stumbled across an opportunity quite by chance and went for it. It was completely out of the blue and it just felt like one of those times when fate had intervened to put an opportunity my way but it just wasn’t meant to be. Obviously.
It was only part time working a few hours a day from home but it would have used skills that I had in my previous working life while still fitting in perfectly with my current stay at home mama life. I don’t know why I was kidding myself thinking that the job could have been mine. Who in their right mind would employ somebody who has been out of the workplace for nine years? Nine whole years. That’s an awful long time, isn’t it?
I convinced myself that despite advances made in technology over those years, the core skills that I once had would still be relevant today. And that actually my blog, although it has only ever been a hobby not a career, has also taught me so many new skills over the last five years keeping me up to date with technology thus bridging that huge gap somehow. I now realise how silly my application must have sounded. And some gaps are just too big to ever be bridged. Ugh.
The fact is that I am happy at home playing housewife. It’s not for everyone I know but I honestly love being at home. All of my children are at school now and ever so often I will get a niggling feeling that I should go back to work. Maybe because society today really doesn’t value my role at home even if my family does. You can’t help but question your own choices sometimes even if you know that they are absolutely the right thing for you and your family.
There is no two ways about it, me being at home means that our family life runs like clockwork. Mr Mostly has three businesses and works all sort of erratic hours and there is no way that he could do what he does without me here keeping the home fires burning. And the children also need me at home. Between the four of them, there is barely a week goes by that they are all actually in school for starters! But I want to be here to raise my family and I make no apology for that. That is why this job opportunity would have been so perfect though, it was just a few flexible hours working from home meaning that I would have the best of both worlds. It was too good to be true, huh?
I guess I always thought that I would go back to work one day. I just didn’t know when. And then when I stumbled across what seemed like a perfect job for me, I thought that time had come. But now being realistic I don’t know how I will ever get back into the workplace. This job just wasn’t meant to be and I’m sure there will be other chances along the way and I know how silly it must sound but this has really dented my confidence. Never mind. Onwards and upwards, eh?