We are fast approaching the end of the school year which means that everyone is getting a bit frazzled. There is something to remember every day as everything gets squeezed into these final weeks, PE kits are getting forgotten, letters aren’t getting signed, little people have to be dragged out of bed… you get the idea. It’s funny because when I worked full-time, I was so blinded by the sheer terror of arranging childcare that I was blinkered to the fact that little people really need these breaks.
Being at home for all of these years has definitely made me more in tune with my children. That sounds terrible, doesn’t it? But I make no secret of the fact that I was a crap working mum. That’s not to say that all working mums are crap, let’s not even go there, but I can hold my hands up and say that I was spectacularly crap at keeping all those balls in the air. When I gave up work after having my third baby over twelve years ago, it was a huge decision but without doubt I did it with the very best interests of my family at heart. Whether or not it was the best thing for me is another question but now I’m rambling and that’s maybe a whole new post for another day.
When I worked full-time, I didn’t even get to do the school run, never mind count down to them coming to an end for the summer. I had to pay for wrap-around care before and after school (and of course be bankrupted by the holiday club fees!) The job I had was completely inflexible and looking back, it is no wonder that I felt like I was failing at life. I ended up resenting the job that took me away from being there for my children and felt like I wasn’t doing a good enough job at work or at home. I know that not everyone is as lucky as I am to even be able to make the decision to jack in work. For many years it wasn’t an option for me either so believe me when I say I know how privileged I am. But of course it took more hard work than luck to make it happen and that was undoubtedly down to the support of Mr Mostly (although he would argue that he wouldn’t be able to do the work that he does without me at home taking care of everything!)
It’s not like I’ve been sat on my bum for the last twelve years, don’t get me wrong. First there were the ‘proper’ stay at home mummy years where I had four children under ten and there wasn’t much else to fit in to be quite honest, then came my blog which brought paid writing opportunities and bits of freelance work that I could fit around nap times and school runs, then came the disastrous attempt at finding ‘a nice little job’ last year which almost gave me a nervous breakdown but on the plus side, quickly taught me what the last thing I needed was ‘a nice little job’ and maybe the bits of writing work were more than enough for me.
So here we are another year on, at the busiest time of the school year when everyone is ready to drop and I have made the decision not only to go back to work but to go to college too. I must be mad, right? Like life isn’t busy enough? But best of all I get to spend the whole summer at home with my babies after we survive these few frazzled weeks. Well the little ones at least, my eldest is a fully fledged adult who pays tax and wears a suit and everything and the teen is currently working two jobs to be able to fund her shoe habit (oh and university next year!)
Life is busy. And come September is about to get a whole lot busier. But it’s a good kind of busy. The kind of busy that makes me excited for the future.